👋 Welcome to Curating Connection, Casa Cinco's weekly newsletter sharing stories, research, and resources to inspire and enable social health.

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This week we’re co-hosting a lovely event with BrytSpace at Host, prepping for a gathering in London (check our IG stories if you want to join!), and inspiring you to walk the talk when it comes to human connection. Happy reading!

Dare to connect,

Andy

Sent. Seen. Ignored.

I have a deep appreciation for everyone who’s responded to my (informed) cold reach outs along the way while building Casa Cinco—from entrepreneurs, to NGO leaders, to hospitality professionals, to public workers, and more. I never, ever take these for granted (and I make sure to let these wonderful humans know).

Similarly, I try my best to embody this warmth with anyone who reaches out to me. Unless you’re pitching an app for inventory management, in which case KYA. And although none of us are perfect and some communication inevitably falls through the cracks, I’ve recently found myself deeply frustrated at two types of online interactions (or lack thereof):

• 👻 The ghost: Ignored after a first conversation. Honestly, I’d rather you just never reply to me in the first place; and,

• 🤖 The pretend A.I.: Real A.I. pretending to be human. Yes, I’m judging you fake Katie. 

Note that my frustration is specifically directed at businesses or people in the connection space (call it belonging, community, hospitality, loneliness—we’re all parts of adjacent puzzles) who ghost or misuse A.I.. I’ve been ghosted by Microsoft before and I couldn’t care less. No, this is about our industry’s need to walk the talk.

Disclaimer: People close to me have told me that this is asking too much of others, so all good if you think the same way. I think we could all strive for a little more humanity in our day to day and👏hold👏ourselves👏accountable. 

Let me start with a short compilation of the all-time ‘winners’:

• Feedback, ignored: I provided some euphemised feedback to a quasi-celebrity’s rather careless mistake with terminology around loneliness and the reply essentially said nothing (see image above). Pretend A.I. 

• Vulnerability, ignored: A rushed intro call with a potential investor ended with a request on his behalf for a written heart-to-heart take on Casa Cinco, which I deeply appreciated. Oh, wow. So human. I even meditated prior to sending the email (and mentioned it). I’m still waiting for a reply… Ghosted. 

• Kudos, ignored: An author’s IG post encouraged followers to comment ‘WEBINAR’ for a link to an event, which I attended and provided kudos on instead. No reply would have been 100000x better (see image below). Pretend A.I.

• Partnership, ignored: There’s a place in London with a very, very similar mission to Casa Cinco’s. I had been emailing with their community team regarding a joint event, only for them to stop answering a week before the date. Ghosted.

What bothers me isn’t so much the ignoring or pretending as it’s the incoherence. Listen Linda, the way you do anything is the way you do everything. If we’re in the connection industry, connection is our most precious asset.

If you never want to talk to me again, I get it. If you can’t do an event with me any more, I get it. If you can’t get to all texts yourself, I get it too (can’t relate though 🤣). But to ‘disappear’ from the face of the Earth or have an LLM pretend to care for me? NO, LINDA, NO.

Is there another way, I hear you ask? Can we actually pretend to maintain some humanity in our communications amidst the need to reply, reply, reply, comment, comment, comment, engage, engage, engage, grow, grow, grow?

Yes, we can. I know this because I have experienced it and offered it—both the beautiful, human connection sparked online and the elegant declines. As a starting point:

• ☝️ Be upfront: Engage with things you’re passionate for or can get into. Otherwise, you’ll dig yourself into a hole. If you do, grab the bull by the horns and face it. Hey Andy, I’m aware I asked you for this deck but I actually don’t have time for this right now. Best of luck, let’s talk in six months!

• 🧑‍🤝‍🧑 Get (real) help: A.I. can do the job—but should it? If you can’t reply to all your DMs, comments, emails, LinkedIn messages, etc. (and what a happy problem you have), get someone to help and be upfront about it. I experienced this with a very, very famous person in hospitality and I looooved it (see image below). Also, haven’t been ghosted since so double win for this person and his team!

• 🤳 Disclose A.I. help: If A.I. is still a good source of value for you, then be upfront about it. Don’t deceive real people with fake people. Hey, this is Katie! X Team’s virtual assistant. Here’s the link to the webinar if you asked for it, otherwise a member of our team will get in touch with you soon (or not, toodaloo!).

In the end, needless to say, it goes back to the essence of what we do: human connection. We all deserve to be seen, heard, and valued. If you’re preaching it in your line of work, you better lead by example. I certainly strive to. And if I ever don’t, I hope a nascent newsletter out there keeps me in check.

At the very least, and especially in this industry, nobody deserves to be ghosted and deceived.

If nothing else, let this be an exposition of how fiercely I’ve been ignored in the last year wrapped in an acceptable reflection. If you’re an entrepreneur: know you’re not alone in this ocean of ghosts and robots. Feel free to share your story for some empathy and comic relief.

I wish you many, many meaningful replies in your future. As I’d say in Spanish, ‘una lloradita y a seguir remando’. And even more, I wish you meaningful connection. 

Let’s do this,

Andy

WEEKLY CURATION

PEOPLE

• 🧾 TIME Magazine: The Beauty of Being Alone. Or ‘solitude’, if you’ve being paying attention!

• 👯 We all share the human experience, yet statistically we're all ‘special’. What that means for ‘a bunch of weirdos’ finding their niche 

• 🎨 Related: Why A.I. Isn’t Going to Make Art—or at least art that humans will deeply care about

PRODUCTS & SERVICES

• 💻 Groove: How can we recreate the feeling of working with friends, but at home? 

PLACES

• 👂 Care Culture’s review of Peoplehood: how the MVP for a modern church could improve, and what it tells us about monetizing people’s social health

• 🏠 Americans are spending more time at home… and a large part of it alone. The adverse consequences of trading social institutions for social isolation 

• ✌️ La Cura: A restorative haven in Cataluña looking to reconnect you with yourself, others, and the planet. Sounds very Casa Cinco, doesn’t it?! 

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