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This week we’re talking about artificial intimacy, the trend of being human, and agents vs. gatekeepers. Happy reading!

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Andy

HAPPENING AT CASA CINCO

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FOR INSPIRATION

If you’re not familiar with Esther Perel, think of her as the wise aunt you always wanted (and we mean this in the best possible way - Esther is a renowned psychotherapist, a New York Times best-selling author, and somehow speaks 9 languages, among others).

In this provocative conversation with Brene Brown (another excellent addition to a family), Esther exposes a different take on AI: that of artificial intimacy. She defines artificial intimacy as the result of our current (pseudo)experiences, which fail to provide us with human connection.

What’s a (pseudo)experience, you ask? Going out on a date where the other person is constantly on the phone (“it’s work… sorry”). Going for coffee with a friend who’s more concerned about posting the experience than being in it. It’s sharing physical experiences without the emotional connection. What’s more concerning is that this becomes a reinforcing cycle: the less we connect with each other, the less comfortable we become with the inherent friction in doing so, and the more superficial relationships become.

In bypassing our human scale pretending we’re fine living this way, we essentially risk crashing into reality. It’s what Brene calls a ‘controlled flight into terrain’ - an aviation term for a plane crashing without pilots noticing they had lost control. An accurate, and terrifying, analogy.  

The inspiration for you is: don’t lose sight of the ‘human scale’. Don’t pretend you can do it all, or that you’re fine without your friend’s attention, or that likes matter. In simpler terms: stay real.

FOR CONVERSATION

Mintel’s 2024 Global Consumer Trends report includes a trend that stands out from the rest: being human. We see you Mintel.

Yes, we’re all human already, but in a world increasingly dominated by technology, we’re missing out on the human experience. We’re missing out on human connection. Sounds like Esther would agree with this one.

The question then becomes: can we leverage technology to enhance the human experience? Tinder’s former CEO is amongst the (incredibly smart) group of people trying to answer this question. Her latest venture, Meeno, offers users relationship mentorship by leveraging AI. In other words, it doesn’t seek to replace human interaction, but enhance it. You don’t become friends with Meeno, you use Meeno to become a better friend to your friends.

But… do we buy it? With people using gadgets such as the VisionPro to ‘see’ trees instead of heading outside, can technology genuinely enhance the human experience, or is it inherently extracting of it?

@sanjosefoos

Its hasnt even been a day yet 💀😭 #apple #applevision #applevisionpro #visionpro #sanjose #siliconvalley

FOR ACTION

Danny Meyer, NYC’s beloved restauranteur and the mastermind behind Shake Shack, is the author of today’s actionable concept: be an agent, not a gatekeeper.

Here’s a little story that captures the essence of his message.

I was walking past the hottest new restaurant in a nearby neighborhood and decided to try my luck getting a table for two. I greet the hostess and ask if there happened to be a walk-in available for two people.

“You don’t have a reservation?” Well, no, as I said, we were wondering if you had walk-ins available?

“There’s nothing available” OK, understood, perhaps if we wait?

“Can’t give you a time” Mmm… ok… bye then?

The hostess clearly acted as a gatekeeper - literally keeping us out and limiting our experience to her interest. We felt kicked out, before even stepping in. Note this isn’t just limited to hospitality. How many gatekeepers do you encounter in your day to day? When have you been a gatekeeper yourself?

What could the hostess have done differently? A welcoming smile would have helped, but focusing on the dialogue:

“I’d be happy to check, we’d love to have you join us for lunch… is this your first time? Actually, it seems like there is unfortunately no availability at the moment, we’ve been busy! But why don’t you join us for a drink at the bar while you figure out your lunch plans for today, and we put your name down for a table this Friday at 1pm?”

That is the attitude of an agent. Someone who makes things happen, and makes things happen for others. The facts didn’t change, we would have still been unable to lunch there that day, but the attitude would have made a world of difference. Who wouldn’t say YES to that second offer?

And think about it - even if you couldn’t care less for niceties, it’s simply better business. For the same cost to the restaurant, this woman would have now acquired two new customers (plus our positive word of mouth).

Next time you’re doing something for someone, ask yourself: are you being an agent, or a gatekeeper?

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